The Big Bat

This is a metaphor that I use quite often in therapy, with clients who find themselves self-sabotaging or punishing themselves. The Big Bat is what you pick up to beat yourself up with – metaphorically not literally!

What are the things you say to yourself to drag you down, to make you feel bad? This can be something like “I’m a failure” or “I don’t deserve anything good”. The Big Bat can rear it’s ugly head at any point. When you’re feeling low, stressed, have had a bad day, or it might just be where your head takes you without any prompts or triggers.

If you feel like you’re punishing yourself for something real (or more than likely imaginary) and don’t understand why, you’re not alone. Punishing yourself doesn’t have to have a reason, nor make sense. Sometimes it’s about the fact that you’re placing too many expectations on yourself, so when you don’t achieve them, it’s time bring out the bat.

But it’s time to put the Bat down. Whatever the reason you’re beating yourself up for, whether real or not, will not get better the lower your drag yourself down. To make changes, to be proactive can take some self-care and self-kindness and a clear head. All of which you are unlikely to achieve by beating yourself up.

How do you put the Bat down? First it’s time to get super aware of your thoughts. When you’re having these thoughts, make sure you are paying attention – don’t let them just be a passing thought that goes around and around your head. Bring it forward, pay attention and confront it. Challenge these thoughts. Question these thoughts. Imagine these thoughts running off your back like water. Tell this thoughts to Shut Up.

Try and engage in positive self talk – or at the very least, more neutral thinking. Tell yourself that this is your big bat, and you can choose to put it away and focus on problem solving, on being proactive, or just engaging in more enjoyable activities to give yourself (and your mind) a break.

It takes practice, it’s hard. But it’s worth it. Put down the bat!