Fostering Empathy In Children
As parents, our most important job is to raise our children to be good people. We want our little ones to be kind, considerate, educated... and much more. For this reason, today we will talk about empathy, one of the pillars of socialization. Will you join us to discover what it is, its importance, and how we can encourage it in children?
What is Empathy?
Empathy is the ability that allows us to observe what another person feels and put ourselves in their shoes. It is a complex concept that implies being receptive to the emotions of the people around us and having the ability to identify them through their gestures and words, understand what the other feels, and appreciate the situation without judging the person involved.
You're probably wondering if that's it. Well, no, empathy is not only related to the discovery and understanding of the emotions of others but also to our own sensitivity in relation to those emotions. Thus, it is expected that if a friend of ours is sad and cries, we feel the need to comfort him/her, for example. Empathy develops throughout life.
While it is true that we have innate empathy, which is clearly seen when the older brother cries and the little brother who is just a few months old cries too, empathy is part of social learning. In psychology, different stages of empathic development are distinguished:
· Emotional empathy: This is the empathy that we mentioned in the example of the baby and her/his older brother. It occurs during the first year of life when the baby does not yet know he/she is different from those around him/her.
· Empathy between one and two years old: Empathy evolves along with the child and already knows that others are external people to him/her and is able to realize when another person is feeling bad. However, she/he doesn't quite know how to comfort him/her.
· Cognitive empathy: By the age of six, the child knows that his/her feelings and emotions are different from those around him/her. Here begins the empathy development as we understand it.
· Empathy between 10 and 12 years old: Empathy at its best occurs at puberty when children are able not only to care about those around them but also about people they do not know. For example, there is a social concern for those who do not have food or shelter.
Why do we want empathic children?
The answer is very simple: empathic children will become empathic adults and precisely what we need in this world is empathy, it is to put ourselves in the other's place, feel what the other feels, and want to help them.
An empathic child is able to distinguish other people's emotions, put themselves in their shoes, and act to comfort or help them. This is essential to prevent bullying.
As you read, empathy is an essential pillar in the fight against bullying, why? Because an empathetic child will not be an aggressive person, much less a bully, but a child who will seek to create and maintain friendships.
Far from being destructive, a child who practices empathy is a child who builds relationships. Basically, we could say that empathetic children are capable of building healthy and solid relationships and, therefore, would be capable of changing society. And isn't that what we want: children turned into responsible, healthy, respectful, and compassionate adults? A less violent, more egalitarian, and containing society?
That change begins with us, the parents and teachers. The change begins at home, through the transfer of values and the promotion of empath
How is empathy developed?
As we mentioned before, we are already born with default empathy but we need someone to help us develop it. Empathy is made up of a series of skills that are mostly transmitted without words, through non-verbal communication, with smiles, caresses, listening, looking into the eyes when they speak to us, etc.
They are skills that are learned in the relationship with others; therefore, adults, the caregivers closest to children, are a necessary tool to promote this development, since they are the first relationships and the first links that the child establishes with his or her environment.
The learning of empathy in children is achieved, therefore, from the interaction with the adult. The caregiver pays attention to the child so that he knows himself and in the future can project it on others.
7 tips to encourage empathy in children
If you are wondering how you can encourage empathy in your little ones, do not miss our advice:
1. Set an example: This is always our first piece of advice. If you want an empathic child, show empathy too! To do this, listen to him/her and show him/her affection when he/she has a problem or simply does not feel quite well.
2. Give importance to what he/she tells you: Take the time to give value to every word that comes out of your child's mouth.
3. Pay attention to his/her feelings and do not judge them for them: It is important that parents avoid value judgments such as "stop crying over nonsense", "you look like a baby crying like that", etc.
4. Accept that each person has their own emotions and feelings.
5. Express your feelings and help your child understand them.
6. Comfort your children when they are sad.
7. Talk to him/her: Watching a movie, playing a game, or reading a story can be a good opportunity to put yourself in the place of a character and ask your child what he/her would do in this or that situation.
It is essential to develop this ability to promote communication, express our feelings, and strengthen self-esteem.
Empathy is learned and practiced. If your son/daughter feels that you are empathic with him/her, he/she will surely try to imitate you. In addition, practicing empathy will help him/her to make this response arise naturally in the face of the different circumstances that he experiences.