How to support someone in an abusive relationship

It can be a frustrating process to support a friend or loved one who is in an abusive relationship. I think it is important to understand the cycle of abuse to help ease some frustrations on why they may find it difficult to leave the relationship. 

Cycle of abuse 

Tips for helping a friend: 

Bringing up the conversation with a friend can be awkward and daunting. Start by expressing that you’re worried about their wellbeing. Ask how everything is going (e.g., work, relationship, study etc..). Offer endless support and hold back any judgments or frustrations you may have. Listen to your friend or loved one, instead of labelling the abusive behaviour ask them how that behaviour makes them feel. Let them know that if they’re not ready to chat about it that you will be there when they are. Offer them practical support, give them the number of some helplines, help them make an appointment with a psychologist. Practical support could include cooking them dinner, being there if they decide to make a statement with the police, offering them a bed to sleep in while they get back on their feet.  

Abuse in relationships is never okay. If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship it is important to know there are supports and help out there. Listed below are some helplines and websites that may be of use. If you feel triggered by this post or are wanting support, feel free to contact us on 8838-8687 or book an appointment online and come in to see one of our friendly Psychologists. If you are in immediate danger please call 000. 

Hotlines to call: 

- 1800RESPECT                                                -

- Safe Steps Victoria: 1800 015 188