Tips to manage anger
We all experience anger at times in our lives. Whether it be a moment of annoyance or full-blown rage. Anger is a normal human emotion that we cannot avoid. However, when we let our anger take over it can be destructive and can lead to problems in relationships, at work and in our overall outlook on life.
Here are some tips to help you in managing your anger.
1. Notice where the is tension in your body
When we experience anger, it shows itself in our bodies. You might notice that you’re tensing your muscles or clenching your fists or tightening your jaw. You might even have an urge to fight or run away from the situation causing you anger. Take some time to notice and observe what is occurring in your body and while it may be uncomfortable remind yourself that no feeling is permanent, and the anger will soon pass.
2. Relaxation
Once you notice what is going on in your body, you can use different relaxation techniques to calm your body and mind down. Try breathing deeply and slowly to help reset the nervous system. Take at least five deep breaths as a way to settle the mind and body.
3. Notice if there are any feelings underneath the anger
Although, anger is often displayed outwardly, other emotions are usually hidden beneath the surface. It may be sadness, fear, or guilt. These underlying emotions may cause us to feel vulnerable, if we do not have the skills to manage them effectively and that is when our anger may come out as a secondary emotion. Therefore, diving beneath the surface of a big emotion and exploring the complexity of our experience can help inform our next steps.
4. Improve communication
When we get angry it can be easy to criticise and blame others for the way we are feeling, this only tends to make the situation worse. To avoid this, try using "I" statements to describe the problem. Instead of saying ‘you never help me with the housework’ try ‘I’m upset that you did not offer to help me with the dishes.’ Being respectful of others and by being specific in our communication we can prevent anger and arguments from escalating.
5. Using Humour
Sometimes, making a joke about what is making you angry can help in diffusing the tension. Try using humour to lighten up the situation and challenge any unrealistic expectations you may have about how a situation should go. However, steer clear of sarcasm as this can hurt other people’s feelings and make situations worse.
Learning to control your anger can be a real challenge at times. However, if your anger seems out of control, causes you to do things you regret or hurts those around you, it may be worthwhile speaking to a professional. Feel free to contact us on 8838-8687 to book an appointment with one of our friendly Psychologists.