Tips for managing a break-up
So you’re going through a break up, regardless if it was your decision, their decision or a mutual decision it likely sucks! Here are a few tips for managing a break-up & getting through it as best you can.
First off try to eliminate reminders of your ex especially at the start. This might mean removing photos of them, giving back their items, avoiding playlists or songs that remind you of them. It could mean deleting them from social media & non-social media apps such as strava, spotify or find my friends, that allow you to get updates on your ex. Try to clean out and give your house/ room an upgrade. Move furniture around, reframe photos with other loved ones, decorate a little differently, declutter.
One of the most important things to remember when going through a break-up is to give yourself time. Time to cry, time to reflect, time to process, time to explore new hobbies. Try not to pressure yourself to “get over” the relationship in a certain timeframe. There are no timeframes or formula for “getting over” a relationship. After going through a break-up, we often find there’s a lot more time to ourselves. This time can feel great, you can explore new hobbies and have a bit more time to yourself. Having more time to yourself can also bring feelings of loneliness and remind us of things we used to enjoy as a couple. Give yourself time to feel those uncomfortable feelings, talk to friends, family or a Psychologist to help support you through it.
Boundaries, Boundaries, Boundaries!
I cannot stress enough just how important boundaries are! Now, boundaries will look different for everyone, no two relationships are the same just as no two people are exactly the same. Some suggestions of boundaries are to explore things like limiting how often you see your ex. This could mean hiding them from your Instagram feed or other social media platforms. It could mean having a conversation with your ex about having some physical space (i.e., minimising contact, not seeing each other in person, moving out etc..). Ask your ex to respect these boundaries you’re putting in place. It is important to sit down and think about what is best for you. Does this mean completely blocking your ex on all platforms? Does this mean that you limit what they can see from you & what you can see of them? Does it mean hiding their friends from your feed as well so there is as little reminders and triggers of your ex as possible? It is often a good idea to try and minimise triggers that remind you of your ex so you have time to reflect and process, without constantly being reminded of them. This could also mean setting boundaries with your friends. Letting them know you don’t want to hear news or updates about your ex.
Be mindful of ups and downs. Some days will feel amazing others will not. Be prepared for the days that are harder. Make sure in those down periods to connect with others. Talk to friends, family or your Psychologist. Have activities and distractions ready. Make a playlist of up-beat songs or have on hand your favourite movies and TV shows and snacks.
Allow yourself time to adapt to this new change! Change is already hard so try to take it easy and look after yourself! Make sure you’re getting good sleep, eating regularly, and try to move your body.
If you find you would like some extra support or information, please feel free to contact us on 8838-8687 or book an appointment online and come in to see one of our friendly Psychologists.